Ups and downs

Life is all about ups and downs. You can go skyhigh, and feel fantastic. Only to eventually fall down. You hit rock bottom. Feels terrible when you are down in the ditch. When you are down in that ditch, at rock bottom, it can feel as if you are totally back where you started. As if you haven’t achieved anything. As if being at rock bottom in itself isn’t bad enough. But is that really true?

I challenge that idea. Have a look at the picture below. It’s one I use very often when working with clients. 

In this picture, I tilted the ever ongoing cycle of the ups and downs of life a little. Most people go through life learning all kinds of lessons. You learn from every low and high (probably most from the lows). That’s the orange line you see in the picture: the total amount of everything you learned. 

The orange line is the reason it’s impossible to get back to where you started. That feeling of not having achieved anything, is just that, a feeling. Let’s look closer at the curve moving up and down. Yes, there are highs and lows. But look a little closer. The low you are experiencing might be higher than a previous high. Doesn’t feel like it, but it is. Think about that the next time you feel you haven’t accomplished anything! Just look back to where you came from.

But why does it feel so terrible? Well, because you are really good at adjusting. Adjusting to your new level for instance. An easy example is your income in money. When I was a student, I worked a part time job, and made some money to pay my bills. It wasn’t much, but I got by. When I finished my master’s degree, I started a full time job. It paid twice what I made with my part time job. Wow! The things I could do with all that money! Paying the bills, mostly, it turned out. Student loans. Buying proper food every day. Go on holiday. Buy clothes that are suitable for work. That sort of thing. Pretty soon I was used to my new income. And it happened more than once: getting a pay raise, that just seemed to evaporate.

That’s how it works with a lot of things in life. You get used to things. You adjust to new levels. Everything below feels like a loss. And you forget that what you have at that moment, is already more than you had before. Besides that, losing something hurts. People don’t like losing. Losing money hurts more than gaining the same amount of money brings you joy. This doesn’t only apply to money. It applies to many things in life. Losing something makes you feel absolutely miserable. Which is why you feel like shit when you get to a low point, even when it is already higher than a previous high. 

How do you flip that? Well, by being aware of this phenomenon. When you feel at a low, look back to where you were before. And by putting the picture in this article on your wall, so you get reminded of this principle constantly!