The need for crap
How shitty experiences can actually help you
Ever walked into a room and felt like you didn’t belong, right from the start? That was me the other day, sitting in an interview for a coaching gig I thought would be perfect for me. I saw the ad, and I thought ‘that sounds really interesting!’. So, I applied. Got an invitation, and was happy. This will be fun.
It wasn’t.
It had been a while since I felt this out of place, like I was speaking a different language and no one in the room had the slightest idea what I was saying. It’s that sinking feeling, where your stomach knots up and your confidence starts slipping away, moment by moment. And I remembered how much I hate that feeling. One of the interviewers kept checking her watch, making me even more self-conscious. Didn’t help either. Answering questions made me feel awkward. Felt like I was rambling.
Unsurprisingly, I did not get the gig. Which made me kind of angry. You know that feeling? In the moment, you don’t know what to say or do. Hours later, you know exactly what you should have said. Which made me even more angry. With myself. Not helpful at all.
After allowing myself to be angry for a while, I decided it was time for a reframe. Yes, I could have said something about the constant watch-looking. I didn’t. That’s fine. Being honest, I realized I was actually happy I didn’t get the gig. Feeling so out of place to begin with, this probably wasn’t the best place for me anyway.
That realization suddenly fueled my internal fire. Not as anger, but as drive. A renewed drive to grow my own business. Working with clients that are like me. Out of place at most places. But with something unique to contribute to the world. It gave me a whole new shot of energy and ideas.
That was a big shift! Normally, I would linger in that bad feeling for a long time. Self blaming. Blaming others, or the situation. None of which is helpful. And now, I turned the shitty experience into manure to grow within 24 hours.
I reminded myself of my investigative nature. This is just how I operate. I saw a possible opportunity in the coaching gig ad. Started my investigation to find out more. Found evidence that it wasn’t for me. And got a renewed focus on my own plan.
So, I’m full of energy. I even wrote this on a saturday morning, because I felt I just had to. Apparently, I need shitty experiences sometimes to make sure the path I’m on is the right one. By the time you read this, I have updated my ‘work with me’ page, with new services for SmartSolopreneurs who can relate :). Check it out!
Have you ever had an experience that felt like a failure but ended up being a turning point? Next time you face a “failure,” what if you looked at it as a sign? A clue pointing you toward something even better? Rejection is redirection. What new direction might it lead you to?